You Ruined My Omelet

 

"Shut up, you pompous ass. And why don't you go ahead and go fuck yourself too, while you're at it?"

Perhaps I was a bit too harsh? Was it too mean? Too abrupt? You know, sometimes in life you just have certain people in it that just rub you the wrong way no matter what. And maybe they aren't even necessarily annoying people in real life.

They're just annoying to me.

People like that can irritate you no matter what they do. He could put air in his tires, and I'd find something to be annoyed about the way he was doing it, even if the way he was doing it wasn't even remotely out of the ordinary.

"Did you see the way he put air in those tires? Like he's some sort of tire inflating expert or something."

It was in the middle of telling a story. Not a particularly good one, mind you. Granted. But it was a story, nonetheless. And perhaps by the time I was telling it I'd admittedly had a couple of beers down. 

Okay, maybe it was four.

But I can handle my liquor just fine, thank you very much. I am a Bonafide professional, and four beers won't knock me out of my senses, that much I can tell you. 

"You're painting a picture in my head," he said.

I really wasn't. That much was apparent. To him the words coming out of my mouth were nothing more than nonsensical gibberish. 

Hey, give me a break here, will ya? I'm a writer more than I'm a talker. I'm good with words so I long as I write them down. But was my story really coming across that incoherently? That vague? Or was this pompous ass just being the typical pompous ass he is known to be?

Well, known to be from the likes of me.

But he is, actually. Even if some other people don't see it. Maybe they're pompous asses of sorts together. You know how that is in the world so often. Like minds just go together, don't they?

But wait a minute. Isn't that actually the other way around?

"The reason you two can't get along is because you're both so much alike." 

Doh!

Yeah, fuck you too. I will stake no claim whatsoever that I have a single ounce of pomposity coursing through my veins. Unlike YOU, sir, I actually DO know everything.

You're painting a picture in my head...snicker, snicker. 

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead and have your fun. I am glad to know that instead of actually hearing my story you were simply awaiting your cue to be able to find some fault with it. I'd expect no less from the likes of a guy like you.

Par for the course, as they say. I should've known better. Even if the story wasn't for him and no one else seemed fit to stop me in my tracks and suggest I was making about as much sense as a live blow torch in a fireworks warehouse.

Besides, how was I now going to make more sense? You scrambled my omelet, buddy, and what will be plopped on the plate will not even remotely resemble the breakfast I was aiming for. Thanks. And now on top of that you've got my panties all in a bunch.

Not only has my train of thought been perfectly derailed, now I am irritated too. On top of that, I had lost my interest in even finishing it. What was the point anyway? Clearly, he didn't think there was one to be found.

But finish my story I did. It didn't receive any accolades. Not that I was seeking any. And when the final word passed over my lips, the only thought that crossed my mind was...

I swear he's thinking it. "Cool story, bro."

Dagnabbit and confound it, no he didn't. Well, he really didn't. But I knew he was thinking it. He gave a slight nod and sipped his—whatever he was working on, and we went on about our evening per the usual.

When he said goodbye, I turned to my wife and looked at her in disgust, shaking my head. "Did you see the way he said goodbye? I mean, really."

Like the way I write or the things I write about? I write about serious and important things too, and you will find much more clarity outside of here than you will ever find inside of here. Follow me on my Facebook page for all my latest rants and even some nonsensical nothings.

This Blog, Sir, Is Dead

Just keep on writing. It's the "forever mantra" of a plyer of pens. Granted, in the world of blogging, no real pens are harmed. It's all just digital data being sent out in the form of words into the ethers. Wherever that is, honestly.

I ply my wares in other places besides this one. And thank Heaven's I do, because this blog gets about as much traction as a man with no legs. Yeesh. Bad joke? Too soon considering I guess old Pistorius is getting out of prison shortly?

You know, he's that guy with the steel, springy legs who once was a star athlete before he killed his girlfriend some years back.

I said I was doing a little experiment though with this one. Of course, you probably didn't get to read it. Well, because who does? It's a ghost town here, folks. But I said I was going to try to post more often here, and not so much as do a thing to promote any of the blogs I write here, just to see if that will ramp up some algorithm in search land (or maybe wake it the hell up!) or something.

I take that back. I did promote the one just before this one. The one about R.P. Kane. 

But the key is to examine the posts that aren't promoted to see if they get anywhere on their own. Just by doing the one thing that blog writers do. Write blogs and hit the publish button and wait.

My other blogs are not a good gauge since they actually have an audience and can find their own way well enough into the hands of readers. Or eyes. Or whatever.

So far what I have learned is that it is just too early to tell if there is any impact whatsoever since I only started this experiment a very short while ago. So, onward and upward, continuing to write more nonsensical nothings I go.

This blog has always been a bit of dead space. Maybe that's part of the reason this one has not been permitted by AdSense to be monetized. Oh well. Maybe one day I can convince the powers that be at Google, or Alphabet, or whatever it is these days to consider it and bring home a little extra dough from it.

Either way, it's still a fun place to write about just about anything I want to. And I guess if it sucks it doesn't matter since no one will see it anyway.

Hey! Johnny Fever. You out there, man? I feel your pain, talking into the airwaves with not a single car radio tuned into your show. That's me. Here I am. Right there with you, buddy. Only he got paid anyway. Wait a damn minute.

In any event, I will keep on doing what I do here regardless of the outcome. I guess from time to time I will promote one or two or several here and there. For what purpose, I have no idea. Maybe I land an eye or two. Who knows?

But for the time being, this blog is dead.

Like the way I write or the things I write about? Follow me on my Facebook page. Trust me, it's quite a bit livelier outside of here than it is inside of here. Anyone out there? Anyone? Anyone?

Writing Again: From the Desk of R.P. Kane

No. Not blogs. Not articles. Or the usual fare I have been writing for several years now. Fiction. Horror fiction to be exact.

I used to do it all the time, writing short stories and novels since I was eight. It has always been a passion of mine, but admittedly something I largely got away from. I suppose one just eventually finds other ways to fuel their passion for writing anything at all, and politics and talking about money just sort of took over.

But fiction has remained something I still like to do from time to time. But it's mostly just for me and my own enjoyment, exploring my imagination and what creepy things I can conjure up. Some of it I actively publish. Most of it I tend to keep on the sidelines.

I have decided to change that a bit.

Back in the 1990s, I introduced an online monthly horror fiction magazine to the world, taking on the persona of Ivan S. Graves, editor in chief, and calling it FrightNet. Despite the world of the Internet being entirely different back then, the magazine was nearly an instant success.

The aim was to make it look and feel like a traditional, in print publication. And it did that. You'd click on the cover, and it would take you into a table of contents, and from there there'd be articles and editorials, and of course, the main course, short stories.

The magazine eventually wound up including many popular talents in the horror field. Jack Ketchum, Peter Straub, T.M. Wright, Douglas Clegg, Michael Laimo and countless others.  And it also led to a horror anthology being published around 2001 or so, called Dark Whispers.

The magazine eventually ceased. It was hard to monetize back then, and Ivan S. Graves bid his farewell, even cancelling plans to publish a second horror anthology called Chillers. Mort Castle once said of me, "You will be one of the greats." But I essentially left horror behind.

It's not that I abandoned the persona of Ivan S. Graves entirely, though. There were several times when I made an appearance or two in certain circles, even writing a foreword to R.K. Finnell's short story collection, Grue Tales, in 2018. I have also maintained connections with several of the writers I had the pleasure of working with, and even occasionally still write a book review here and there.

The persona of Ivan S. Graves was never considered to be a writer. He was an editor. Someone to advance the genre and offer an outlet for authors to have their work published. He did write, though. And if you dig really, really deep you can find some of his work still hanging around in places.

The writer side was R.P. Kane. 

Even the persona of R.P. Kane was mostly intended to be a practice author. In other words, the real writer's name behind Jim Bauer (my real name) would be more of a secret. That writer's name remains to be that way today with almost no one knowing who he is.

And I'm still not talking.

R.P. Kane's work would sometimes be tossed into the pages of FrightNet, and when I did it, I never let on to anyone that Ivan S. Graves was actually R.P. Kane. Though there were a few curious contributors who would sometimes recognize something in Kane's style that resembled the monthly "Letter from the Editor" that appeared in every issue.

Kane also took on a bit of a more sinister nature in what he wrote. And so, the persona offered me some liberties to try different things in the way of style and delivery, and even subject matter.

Tests. Practice. A way to hone the craft and share it at the same time.

By the way, sometimes that's the real reason many writers write under different names. It's not just because their real names might be boring, or not quite fit the genre, like mine. It's that you can do things with one name that you can't do with a more known name—it gives you some separation and allows for a little bit of experimentation.

Nonetheless, I have decided to begin sharing some of R.P. Kane's work, both old and new, on a blog on this very platform. Not within The Journal. But in its own space.

It is a work in progress as we speak, and to date there is nothing to share other than that I am doing it. Stay tuned.

Like the way I write or the things I write about? Follow me on my Facebook page where I share posts from this blog, as well as all the other places I write, and where you will be able to find links to the future publishings of R.P. Kane.

An archived copy of FrightNet, #13, June/July 1999

Discover Extra 2% Cash Back Offer is Fake

Perhaps this simply serves as another reminder to never click on any link inside of any email even if it looks legitimate.

Scammers will try just about anything to get hold of your information and rob you.

Today, for example, I noticed an email that looked fairly legitimate from Discover Card that offered me to activate now, before it's too late, an additional 2% cash back reward on top of all other current cash back rewards offered until December 31, 2023.

"No need to login. Just activate inside this email."

That should be the first and only red flag that this is a scam, and the email did not come from Discover Card Services.

I was still interested if it were true. But when I logged into my account through the normal process, the offer was nowhere to be found.

It's the world we live in, folks. Trust no one and always double check. And if there is anything offered in an email, login to your regular account before clicking on anything in order to make sure it's a real offer.

Like the way I write or the things I write about? Follow me on my Facebook page to keep up with all the latest posts from Jim Bauer wherever he may write.

A Couple of Experiments Just for Kicks and Grins

Twitter has always been a "funny" place to me in that it's like a ghost town on my profile page. I have enough "followers," but still, getting any real traction on anything I post there is difficult. For whatever reason.

However, I do think some of the stats shown aren't always completely accurate. For example, link clicks, if I am sharing a song or sharing a post, tend to always display as zero. At the same time, if I am posting something to share there, I do also often see a jump in views.

I know when and where I share something mostly. So, where else would the views be coming from but link clicks even if the stats say no one clicked?

I wrote a post yesterday on here that remained at zero. Hey, this particular blog really has no audience and gets very little traffic. I always consider it just a quiet place to write something just to keep the pen moving, have a little fun, and keep the mind fresh and active.

I rarely actively share what I write on here.

But I became curious. Would sharing the former post on Twitter bump up the view count? I am not sure, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it will.

So, I am checking to see if that actually happens. But there is another experiment I want to try out. The fact is that I am not very active adding to this blog. Usually on my main blog I limit my posts to only one per day. I won't get into the details of why that's my rule. I will just say that it is.

So, even if I write two or more posts in a day, I won't publish them right away. Instead I will schedule them in a way to be published so only one per day is added to the blog.

In any event, the second experiment is to see if I post more on this blog, will it push the posts more?

It's helpful to also understand some changes that I could make on my primary blog that might actually be beneficial to it and drive in way more traffic. In the end I have nothing to lose. No one sees this blog hardly anyway. And for whatever reason I have not been able to monetize this one as I have with my primary blog.

Onward and upward and we will see what happens. I will be sure to post my findings even if I am also absolutely positive I might as well do magic tricks in front of a blind man.

No one will see it. 

Hey! Think this blog sucks? Maybe you're right. How about giving me some spins on some of my music that sucks too? I could use the income to keep writing things that suck. You can find my quirky Pink Flamingoes (misspelled on purpose) album on Spotify. If you are so kind, perhaps there is a song or two that makes your favorite playlist?

By the way, the picture that accompanies this post has nothing whatsoever to do with this post. It's just a picture of a 1980 Ford Fiesta, which also happened to be my first car. But mine was powder blue.

Pink Flamingoes Anomaly

I often get a kick out of an album I released a few years back that is on several streaming platforms, including Spotify. If I take accumulated totals of streams of all the songs I have released, both on that album and singles, the one that gets the win is the signature song on the album, Pink Flamingoes.

Now, you do have to bear one very important thing in mind here, and that's that music (if you want to call it that in my case) is entirely a hobby and nothing more. I do not perform live, am not in a band and never was, and it's all just for fun for me.

That being said, my style, whatever what one considers it to be is definitely mine and my songs are all quite a bit "different" and I would also say, "quirky."

I don't like to conform to a certain given format or rules. And of course, I don't have to because they are my songs, and I can do what I want with them. So long as a handful of people enjoy them, that's all that matters to me.

But Pink Flamingoes, misspelled on purpose by the way, is particularly "weird," I suppose especially in the long outro where I start singing about pink flamingos flying—which most people would say, "What the hell does that have to do with the theme of the song?"

Do songs always have meanings or are they sometimes just a combination of things the artist feels just "sounds good?"

The pink flamingos flying at the end I suppose could suggest just accepting who you are and what you are and not being afraid to be that. In reality, it was just "practice singing" in a section where I had no real lyrics to add, on a song I never intended to release. 

But after some test runs of the song, everyone suggested I keep it there. They liked it. And that was enough for me to leave it there and make it the title of the song, and subsequent album, as well as added a "remake" at the end of the album of that song with a slight, new twist.

In any event, I just wanted to talk about it because the "success" of that song just never ceases to surprise me.

Pink Flamingoes on Spotify
Pink Flamingoes (The Album) on iTunes
Pink Flamingoes (Remake) on YouTube
Pink Flamingoes on Amazon Music
Pink Flamingoes on YouTube

Am I Losing My Mind?

I must be losing my mind, or I have too much money in the bank. The latter of which can't be possible, since if you know anything about me, having too much money in the bank is an impossibility. To me, there is simply no such thing.

You see, the thing is that I currently drive a 2018 Ford F-150 pickup truck, and it's a really nice truck. Even though it's nothing fancy, just an XLT, it's got everything—well, maybe I would have preferred leather seats. But oh well.

But the seats are heated, the mirrors are heated. It's got a back up camera and full center console viewer. It's a V8, and doesn't have (sorry Ford) that crappy Ecoboost thing.

I like it, 'nuff said.

Back in around October of last year I finally took the plunge and got something I have wanted for decades. A camper.

And it's really nice too. I bought a 2019 Keystone Passport Elite MB34. She's about 7,020 pounds dry and about 38' long, is really roomy, and was priced just right. I have pulled it several times so far and my experience with it has been mainly satisfactory. At the same time, I am still quite aware she's back there, especially in windy conditions. Just 20 or so mile per hour winds can make for an interesting tow experience, although I am going to start experimenting more with the brake assist to see if that helps on windier days. 

But honestly, 20 mile per hours are not generally considered less than ideal for pulling a travel trailer. So, not sure what to think about that. It could be chalked up to lack of experience. I have never pulled anything this big before.

Or I might just need a bigger truck.

Which brings to a bit of dilemma. As I said, I like my truck. Now, I will say I have been considering having a third vehicle handy. The idea before was to keep my wife's car, a 2019 Nissan Rogue, once it is paid off—which is soon—and just get her another car.

She hasn't been extremely excited about the Nissan anyway. She's been talking about getting a Ford Explorer. Before the Nissan we had a 2010 Ford Edge, which we liked and probably should have kept since there was nothing wrong with it. It was just getting up there in miles and my wife was ready for a change.

But nonetheless, we didn't do that and here we are.

My thinking is that what I want, to be better equipped to pull the camper, is to upgrade to a Ford F-250. The question will become which do I prefer? Gas or diesel? And I am leaning diesel and leaning Power Stroke.

I just think for this purpose diesel is better and the engine will last longer. I could be wrong about that. It's only an opinion and there is no real basis for it since I am not necessarily all that versed on engines and vehicle mechanics in general.

I do assume, though, that it is not unreasonable to expect to get up to a half a million miles out of a diesel engine provided it is well maintained and all. But again, that's a guess.

Now, here's the crazy idea I have, and that's to keep my current truck and just get another one, and instead of keeping the Nissan as a third vehicle, we just keep two trucks instead and trade her Nissan in when the time comes for something else for her.

Do I need two trucks? Not necessarily. But still, I think having the third vehicle, if that's the ultimate goal, has its purpose served regardless of whether or not the third vehicle is two trucks and a car or one truck and two cars.

It is really a bit of a horse a piece isn't it?

Granted, I will admit that the cost of the F-250 will likely be more than the cost of a Ford Explorer, even though I will definitely buy a used F-250. That depends on the year I choose too, and of course the miles matter.

When I bought my 2018 it was two-years old and only had 26,000 miles on it and I paid about $32,000 for it. I was looking at some of the F-250's around 2020 and it looks like one I saw had 75,000 miles on it and was about $46,000.

Still, I am of the thinking that I can reasonably kill two birds with one stone here. And if I am looking at higher miles on a diesel, I am still going to get a pretty good run for my money. At present, my F-150 has about 46,000 miles on it, so I think it has good life left in it as well. That is despite the fact that I also believe I may get many more miles out of the Nissan, keeping it, than I will with the F-150.

I have some time yet to decide. I have three camping trips to date planned for the season this year. One coming up at the end of the month. Another in July, and a potential final one in August—even though I am sure we may plan some very close to home trips before we close up shop and winterize around October.

I said I'd shop and make a decision before the start of the camping season next year.

But the trips are telling of course, right? The one in May is about 2 hours away. So is the one in August. They are quite manageable. The one planned for August is a bit longer of a trip. Around 6 hours away. That may be the most telling of all of them since that one will provide the worst-case scenario.

How well will the F-150 I have now handle on an extended trip?

I suppose regardless of which direction I choose to go, I think at least shopping around for an F-250 should be a fun experience and gives me one more thing to do on a weekend. Shopping around on Sundays of course, since to me that's the only time to ever step foot on a car lot unless you are actually going to test drive something specific or actually pull the trigger on a purchase.

Well, there's that, and hey, look on the bright side. I get to bring you all along for the journey as I shop around. Plus, maybe all of my writing about it may also flip the bill for me. Okay, that's quite a bit of a stretch. 

Besides, I will leave open the possibility that I may actually be losing my mind. So, anything is possible.

Like the way I write or the things I write about? Follow me on my Facebook page where I compile many of the things I write about from the places where I write them. I'd love to see you there, and we can chat too. 

Writing on the Journal is Tough

Let me be straight up and say that no matter the audience, I enjoy the process of writing. And that goes for anything I might write about. The mindless drool I write here is not without its level of pleasure and enjoyment.

As I often say about writing, the general thought is to just keep the pen moving. And while The Journal here may not have a strong audience, and for whatever reason Google has decided not to let me monetize it like my other blogs on the Blogspot platform, it is—for all intents and purposes—not a waste of time for me.

But it's tough. 

It's tough because fewer eyes land here. It's tough because—well, let's face it, I want to be able to monetize it. It's tough because it doesn't really advance my other, more serious writing. It's tough because I prefer to share that other writing on my Facebook page devoted to sharing the things I write about.

At the same time, I still don't mind doing it. In fact, there are times when the well runs just a little bit dry. It happens! And just being able to write about anything and nothing at all helps to spark something that maybe leads to something else that is more productive.

And can be monetized.

Just because it is tough does not mean I won't still spend time here, doing what I do. As I have said here and in other places, I almost have to write just as much as I have to breathe. It's a part of me and an extension of me.

It's what I am and what I do.

And ultimately, for whatever it is worth, people actually do still land here from time to time, and I suppose that helps to make it worth it on some level. It's not like it is totally dead here. The Journal simply doesn't get the same fanfare that my other blogs and writing do.

It's tough, but I will continue to do it, for whatever that's worth, and for whatever prying eyes land here to see what I have to say.

And now for something completely different, check out one of my song releases on Spotfiy, "Where Do I Go." https://open.spotify.com/track/7At3eSWGYR47va1nbwDx6m?si=08e896555c124cdc

Just Getting Through the Day Is All

It's Monday, folks, and let's face it. Monday's just suck. I mean, don't get me wrong, my job isn't all that hard and I don't necessarily mind working. But the reality is that I really don't want to do it. Can't I just be retired already?

I think I have done my fair share, you know, contributing to the world and taxes and whatever in the 36 years I have been busting my buns. Time for some me time, know what I'm saying?

I have to travel for work this week, and as such I will be on the road running through Wisconsin, Iowa, and Minnesota through Friday. Today is just the day before the day I have to leave, and while there are things I need to button up before I head out, I really just want to do nothing at all and be mostly lazy.

Sue me.

That's kind of what I am doing, by the way. I am not being unproductive, mind you. I'm just not necessarily putting my all in either. Just killing time, as they say. Watching the clock slowly move the hands forward, one second and sixty at a time.

I still have to get my hotels booked and I will get to that in a bit here. I've got to work out any last-minute trip details, like seeing if I want to try to add anyone in or take someone off the list. I have to remember to load up a few ball caps to take along to hand out to customers.

But other than that, I plan to just bide the time and call it done for today. If the cards fall into place just right I might even go home a bit early. We'll see. Because all I am doing today is just getting through the day and that is all I plan to accomplish when all is said and done.

I write more serious stuff too. If you want to follow all the places I write, check out my Facebook page to keep up with all the things I write about and the places where I do it.

I Write a Lot

From serious stuff to not so serious stuff, I write a lot. I am not sure if I would necessarily call myself exactly prolific, but there may be some rationale behind me saying it if I were to actually say it. While some have called me, in no uncertain terms, and usually after a long debate, a windbag, I guess at the end of the day I just have a lot to say.

What can I say?

A lot of the time I tell myself I just have to do it. It is something that is within me that I am simply compelled to write, and write a lot. I just gotta get it out, you know? The words. The thoughts. The ideas and opinions. I have to get them out.

I do wonder sometimes what might happen if I didn't do that. Would it be like holding in a fart or something? I mean, it's there. It doesn't just go away, just like words. It all has to come out eventually. Would I explode? I am not sure, and I am no scientist, so I have no idea.

So, I write. And I write a lot and I just keep on writing so long as the words continue to come and so long as I have an outlet to get it all down on paper.

Well, these days on a computer screen of course. 

A while back I decided to start a Facebook page dedicated only to things I write. People get tired of you sharing sometimes on your regular page. But I didn't really do anything with it. I didn't update it much, I didn't promote it much...

I just basically let it sit there.

Recently I decided to not do that anymore. Update it, will ya! I shouted at myself. You actually do have a fan base and because I write in so many places, maybe that fan base could just go to one central place and find it all there.

Or most of it.

But that's part of the problem. I write a lot. And so that means there is more material to share than I have room for necessarily at a given time on my Facebook page—and at the same time I don't really want to clutter anyone's feeds either. That tends to annoy people, and then sharing doesn't matter because they won't bother to pay any attention to you—and there's only so much time to read a bunch of stuff from a windbag like me.

Still, I make every attempt to share what I can. The "evergreen" stuff like this drool I am writing right now can be shared any time—and sometimes it's good filler. If I am writing more "timely" stuff, that has to get up as fast as possible, but of course I still want to stagger it all a little bit.

Either way, no matter what I just keep on doing what I do and eventually if anyone wants to read any of it, they will get the opportunity. By the way, if you happen to be one of those people, go ahead and have a look at my Facebook page and see what's over there. And always feel free to drop me a comment. I will read them and answer them.

Because that's a form of writing too, isn't it? But don't be surprised if I do comment and it happens to be a little long-winded.

You know, that whole windbag thing and all.

First Camp of 2023 On the Books

If I had not mentioned it before, which I most likely have not, my wife and I finally took the plunge last year and bought a travel trailer. We enjoyed a couple of camps last year just as sort of trial runs since we bought it late in the year before we had to get it winterized.

I had been talking about getting one for 20 years and finally decided it was time. I will be 50 in June and I not going to get any younger. Might as well just give it a go and see what happens.

So far, we're having a great time with it, although I think I may need to upgrade my truck. What I bought was a 38' Keystone Passport Elite MB34 and I am currently pulling it with a Ford F-150 V8. It appeared rated for the weight and all, but so far, I do notice the truck struggles just a bit on inclines and despite having a sway bar hitch installed, even in 20mph winds we get a bit more sway than we'd prefer.

Maybe next year. By the end of this camping season, I should know for sure what I want to do. We've been taking trips a couple of hours away, but we have a longer trip planned for August about 6 hours away. That should tell us quite a lot.

Like how the truck will handle on an extended trip, how easy it will be to find gas stations we can maneuver in and so on and so forth.

But our first camp of 2023 is on the books, and I have to say we had a blast. Had the whole gang there practically. My dad and his wife. My sister and brother-in-law and their two younger kids. Her oldest daughter, my niece, was also there with her boyfriend and kid.

My wife was there too, but since she was the one who took all the pictures, she doesn't make an appearance.

The extended fam didn't stay the night. My dad and his wife live in Portageville, MO and stayed with us for the entire camp. We stayed at Cape Camping & RV Park on North Kingshighway in Cape Girardeau, MO. A nice spot in the middle of town close to amenities and not terribly priced at $55 per night with full-service hookups and all pull-through sites.

Our only complaint was that we were close to the entrance which was close to a car wash at the top of the hill, and so we had some noise from the constant air dryer running. But other than that it was a pleasant experience with friendly staff that were very helpful during our stay.

On Friday night it was just the four of us; my wife and I and my dad and his wife. We cooked up some brats on the grill and got some deviled egg potato salad from Walmart—which is delicious potato salad by the way.

On Saturday night, with the whole gang there, we had T-bone steaks with lots of goodies on the side. And of course, as is essential for any camping adventure, there was plenty of beer to be had. Although the ladies stuck to wine and flavored malt beverages.

We also had a campfire both nights.

As I mentioned, heading back home on Sunday morning we did run into a bit of wind conditions. Nothing terrible, but it was hitting us at about 20 miles per hour. I have no idea what the occasional gusts were, but each time they let me know they meant business.

It was a bit interesting that I went through a half a tank of gas on the way to Cape and burned through a whole tank on the way home. I presume the wind was giving the truck a bit more of a run for its money and that's why we went through more. It got a bit close, but we didn't have to be forced to try getting into a gas station which I was happy about, although eventually we are going to have to do it.

The only hiccups I ran into were that our Keurig went kaput, and we had to throw away 2 folding chairs. But all of them were old things and so it was probably time anyway. Luckily, we did not have to spring for two new chairs right away, but the Keurig had to be replaced immediately.

Our next camp is planned for the end of the month in Springfield, Illinois, again a couple of hours away, with my wife's cousin and his wife who will come down from Waukesha, Wisconsin to spend some time with us.

It should be a great time.

Explore the quirky side of Jim Bauer with his recent song release on Spotify, Sunny Days—if nothing else the spins might help to pay for that new truck he wants to get (lol); https://open.spotify.com/track/4zPdalYp0coAwcJndN2Nnc?si=16429bd63fc24bba

The Next Building Over

I just remember glancing down at my sister's text. "It's really easy to find."

I had to meet up with her and my mom for an appointment with the neurologist as she's been having some memory issues and hallucinating—Doc ultimately said she thinks it may be a subcategory of Alzheimer's. Not that that was a total shocker. We have been noticing mom having some issues for a couple of years or so. It's just that it got worse enough that we needed to have a better idea of what we are dealing with.

I parked my truck and headed into what I thought was the main entrance of the hospital, walked toward the elevators and checked my phone for the information I needed.

5th floor, suite 5000.

I pushed the button to call for a lift and proceeded up to the 5th floor. Scanning the directory on the wall, all I saw on the 5th floor was suite 3000. There was no suite 5000 to be seen. I glanced around a bit more thinking maybe I was missing something. 

Nothing. There was no suite 5000.

I finally saw someone coming down the hall that clearly worked at the hospital and asked, "I'm looking for neurology, suite 5000."

She smiled and said, "Oh, that's the next building over."

I saw there was a long hall to the right of the elevators and asked if I could take the hall on the 5th floor to get over there and she said I'd have to go back down since I'd have to pass a security check point down the hall. 

No worries. I called back the lift and went back down to the ground floor and made my way down the hall to the other side of the building. I looked around and saw a bank of elevators and repeated my steps. 

Up to the 5th floor I went. But there was less there than the other building over and still no suite 5000.

I went back down to the ground floor and stopped at the help desk. "I am looking for neurology, suite 5000," I said.

"That's the next building over," the receptionist told me.

How many buildings are there?

I walked over to the next building and finally found the suite I was looking for on the 5th floor. And I made it just in the nick of time. 

I made it a point to tell my sister that it was not at all easy to find and she asked if perhaps I needed to have a consult with the neurologist after she finished up with mom?

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Where Was I, and How the Hell Did I Get There?

Am I a dummy? Or is idiot perhaps a better word? I mean, at the end of the day the simplest answer is that sometimes I just have no idea—or only a modicum of an idea—of what I am doing. Whether or not that makes me dumb I guess you could say is up for debate.

I will let you be the judge of that.

I had to get my camper de-winterized finally for a trip I will take for the first camp of the season at the end of the week and into the weekend. I have never done this before, mind you. After all, I just bought the camper last year around October or November. I forget exactly when, but it was definitely before Thanksgiving, let's put it that way.

In case you were wondering, I bought a 2019 39' Keystone Passport Elite MB34. It's actually a very nice camper and I have no complaints so far.

I could have taken it back to Camping World where I bought it and had them winterize it. But my entire experience with Camping World has been interesting enough to say, at least, for the time being I am not all that impressed with their service AT ALL.

But I am also cheap. Okay, frugal. Isn't that a much nicer word. Sort of like how I twisted up the word dummy or idiot at the beginning of this worthless post. So, I decided to take on the task myself. After all, YouTube has turned more than one dummy into a virtual expert and of course there are plenty of dewinterizing videos to get me on my way—and if I screwed it up, oh well. It would just make for a more interesting story-filled camp until I could get the job done properly.

I got the information I mostly needed. The most important of which was to open the panel to the water heater and make sure the valve was turned the right way to let water into the heater. Seemed easy enough, and in fact the whole process didn't seem to be all that complicated.

And really it wasn't.

I set out to remove the panel and took a quick peek at how to tackle it. Four Phillips head screws, two on each side. I got out my screwdriver and manuevered myself into position to remove the screws and was immediately dumfounded.

Holy crap! Why are they so tight? It's like they'd never come out before? But surely the damn camper has been winterized many times before I had it done. I struggled through the first screw and with some effort it did come out. On to the next one. It was at an awkward angle and just wasn't wanting to budge. It came out part way, but I was making no real progress and now the screw was beginning to strip out.

Perfect. Just my sort of luck and completely expected.

I was already forming an idea in my head, once I'd get that panel off, to concoct a new way of holding it in place that would be much easier to gain access to it the next time.

I went back and got a longer screwdriver and tried that. Nope. Wasn't helping. And that angle. It was ridiculous and very quickly I was spouting off words that would have horrified most people. 

Then suddenly something dawned on me. "Where am I?" 

For orientation purposes I was at the back end of the camper on the left side if you were looking at my behind. Well, the camper's behind. But if I am outside monkeying with the outside access to the water heater, I'd be on the right.

I'd be on the right side of the camper. Or the left side from the inside!

I looked over and sure enough there was a lighter panel on that side with two short screws and I was able to get that off in no time flat. And sure enough, inside was exactly what I was looking for. The hot water heater and the lever I needed to turn.

Call me what you want, but if nothing else matters, a complete idiot would never have had the brain cells fire at all to make the revelation I was able to make.

Just one more camping experience story to add to the annals of history. For whatever that's worth.

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